Worse Ways to Go
by Wolf Maid
Summary: OneShot.  Shameless MalSimon.  The crew is relaxing, and during a game, Mal is teased into action, surprising Simon and himself.  Yes, there are smoochies...  :P


AN: Shameless Mal/Simon, because I was in the mood, lol.

During a game, Mal is teased into action, surprising Simon and himself.

**Worse Ways to Go**

I

II

III

"Come on, Cap'n, the bottle is _clearly_ pointin' at the Doc," Jayne smirked, sharing a wink with Kaylee.

"Rules _is_ rules, Mal!" Kaylee chirped, grinned mischievously.

"I don't know how y'all got me into this fool game, but I ain't aimin' on kissin' nobody—'specially not the young Doc there!" Mal growled. "Seems to me y'all _planned_ on trickin' me—getting' River there t' ask me t' spin that bottle 'n all, an' I don't take _kindly—"_

"Oh, come now, Mal," Book laughed, "They're just enjoying a game, _relaxing_ as it were. Didn't you say you _wanted_ the crew to relax a little, have some fun now that we aren't in any immediate danger?"

"Don't tell me the _Shepherd_ is in on this, too! Ain't you 'sposed to be 'ginst this sorta thing?"

"It's just for fun, Mal," Book replied, a decidedly _un_Shepherd glint in his eye.

"'sides, Mal, it coulda been worse," Wash chimed in. "Bottle coulda pointed at Jayne!" Jayne growled and then, pausing tilted his head to the side and nodded.

"Wash's right. Leastways the doc's smooth enough t' be a girl, eh?" Jayne grinned.

"Hey!" Simon growled, annoyed. They all turned and looked at him, having almost forgotten he was there.

"Doc!" Mal exclaimed, sensing an escape. "Tell 'em we ain't goin' along with their game, willya? You can't want this anymore than I!"

"I…" Simon started, and then stopped with a sigh. "River made me promise to play with her. I hardly expected… Well, I can hardly let her down, can I?"

"You sayin' we should…we should…" Mal trailed off, at a loss for words, and Wash began laughing.

"Captain," Zoe sighed, sending a half-amused glare at her husband, "I _know_ you've faced worse prospects then this during the war." Mal glanced at the faces around him.

"Inara! You don't—"

"Of course not, Mal. We all know you're not open to new experiences," she interrupted, raising an eyebrow, her voice frosty.

"Little one," he sighed at last, looking at River. "You really want to see me and your brother…" he trailed off, uncomfortable.

"Rules hide the chaos inside of ourselves," River replied.

"For the love of all—" Simon growled, impatient, and dropping his book on the table stormed over to Mal and laid a chaste kiss on his lips before he had time to react.

Kaylee and Wash whistled and Jayne called out, "What, no frenchies?" Mal's cheeks were bright red with embarrassment.

"I'm a little disappointed, Cap'n!" Kaylee smirked. "All those stories of how great you are must be a little exaggerated!"

"There _are_ no _stories!"_ Mal growled, getting redder.

"S'all right," Jayne grinned, "Mal just ain't had much practice and—"

With a growl Mal stepped forward and, tightening a hand in Simon's hair, pulled him tight, the other hand slipping onto his lower back as he teased Simon's mouth open, nibbling on his bottom lip, sliding his tongue along Simon's teeth and letting Simon's tongue in when the doctor had recovered from the shock. When they pulled apart for breath, Simon's hands had moved to Mal's shoulder and waist, and they were still so close it took them a moment to hear past the electricity sparking between them to the complete silence in the room. They turned to look at the stunned crew.

"Well, _damn_," Jayne said at last, and there was a hint of appreciation in his eyes. Kaylee just looked flushed.

"I'm…I'll...I'll be in my bunk," she stammered out, eyes bright, breathing a little quicker then usual. "Knock," she added as she hurried out.

Wash looked at Zoe and then stood up abruptly, recognizing the look in her eyes.

"Same!" he added, grabbing her hand as they sped out.

Book looked at a staring River and shook his head. "River, you want to come tell me what all is wrong with my book?" he asked, and River looked at him.

"I'm crazy, not five," she told him calmly, and then taking his hand pulled him out of the room, serenely telling him why she needed to fix the splitting of the Red Sea.

Inara raised an eyebrow as she looked at them. "Mal, I'm impressed," she told him. "And perhaps, a little surprised."

"Inara—" Mal started, but she shook her head.

"Don't try to explain this away," she told him softly, and then came closer, kissing both of them softly on the cheek. "You two are practically glowing," she smiled, a hand on each of their chests. She leaned closer so Jayne couldn't hear. "Plus, you two looked—well…_real_ shiny. In case you didn't get that," she grinned.

"But—"

"I think you two should talk. Or…not talk." She grinned again. "Ever want someone to talk to, I know more then I probably ought." She looked at them both again and then with a sigh turned away.

"Come on, Jayne. We'll go play chess."

"I don't play chess," Jayne grunted.

"Then we'll just talk," Inara sighed.

"I want to see what they get up to!" Jayne grinned. Inara leaned close to him.

"You want to see Mal and Simon get naked?" she hissed. Jayne grinned slowly.

"If it's as hot as that—"

"Jayne, _now!"_ Inara growled, grabbing his arm and tugging him out of the room. Mal looked at Simon and realized his hand was still on the other's waist. He didn't expecially want to move it, but he did. Reluctant-like.

"Look, Doc—" Mal sighed, wondering how he was supposed to apologize for what he'd just done.

"Your bunk or mine?" Simon interrupted, eyes focused on Mal's lips—eyes that were dark and flustered and Simon's lips were swollen because of Mal and Simon's hip fit so naturally against Mal's hand and _what was he doing?_ Mal looked up into Simon's eyes.

"Mine's closer," he whispered, feeling completely out of control as Simon dragged him away.

_Zoe was right, there were surely worse ways to go,_ he thought as he watched Simon's lithe body drop down into his cabin. As soon as Mal dropped down Simon pinned him to the wall, savaging his mouth. Mal groaned.

_Definitely worse ways,_ Mal conceded as he threaded his hands around Simon's waist. Simon slid a knee between Mal's legs and his hands were under Mal's shirt and he started nibbling on Mal's neck and Mal was undone. As he pulled Simon's shirt out of his pants and placed his fingers on warm skin, ducking his head to recapture Simon's lips, he grinned.

_Maybe not any better ones._


End file.
